Firsts

You held me on your chest

That was a first for you

I took a newborn breath

I had a first too

You would always repeat the story

How you prayed for a redhead

Everyday of your pregnancy

And you got what you wanted

I wish I could remember

The first time I made you laugh

I wonder if I was being silly

Or just a 2 year old talking back

I loved playing soccer

Kicking against our front wall

You begged me to be careful

Through the window went the ball

That was a first for me

Well both of us, I guess

I felt so guilty

There wasn’t much to confess

You had beautiful brown skin

Brown eyes and brown hair

And a pasty red head daughter

Nothing to compare

You’re favorite thing to do

Every weekend of my life

Was sneak into hotel pools

Soaking up sun was your delight

I had to sunscreen

You’d get brown, I’d get pink

But much to my surprise

I still layout in a blink

You carried the grace

I was more of a klutz

One thing we had in common

We both have cute butts

When a tornado showed up

In our little neighborhood

I was home alone

But you called me, and I was good

You said tornadoes were only in Kansas

So essentially you lied

But it hopped over our house

And in the morning, we both sighed

So many firsts for both of us

Throughout those teenage years

Pimples, dating, and breakups

Laughter, shock, and tears

Your divorce was heartbreaking

A big first for you

And twenty years later

I had my first too

I took you to Hawaii

You bought a sapphire bracelet

It took me 10 more years

To convince you, you deserved it

We went to a Beverly Hills spot

To listen to celebs chatter

Eat tacos and drink margaritas

And you ended up getting flattered

The waiter read your name

From your Arabic gold necklace

You felt so famous

A few more drinks, and we were reckless

So many fun trips

But honestly, not enough

I wanted to take you to Europe

But with your health, it got tough

When I first got the call

That your body had let go

I’d never felt that before

And little did I know…

That I would experience

So many more firsts

But this time on my own

New joys and new hurts

The first Monday that came

After you passed away

Was the first start of a week

That we didn’t call and say

All the silly stories

That we usually shared

This Monday morning was quiet

I just sat and stared

I remembered our laughs

And how you’d beg me to stop

Making you laugh so hard

You thought your pants would pop

And then my first Mother’s Day

Without you to celebrate

No children of my own

Nowhere for my love to allocate

The hard edges in this life

Were sometimes difficult for you

You were a hippie at heart

Wanting that for others too

I catch myself sometimes

Picking up my cell phone

To give you a quick call or text

Forgetting that I’m now alone

So I smile and remember

As a tear rolls down my cheek

I miss you mom

I just wish we could speak

I would tell you again

What an incredible mom you were

To raise a spitfire like me

Must have been quite a blur

And now I will take your ashes

To Northern California at your request

And sprinkle them in the ocean

For your hippie heart to rest